Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fakery

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Fantasy Baseball SP Roundup 6/15: The Long Awaited Brayan K.O. - Pitcher List

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do programmers choose to write their own code instead of using code that is already available online?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If my boyfriend watches porn, does it mean he doesn’t think I’m good enough? If I am good enough, why does he still watch? Am I not beautiful enough?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can count

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Can you name an example of bad parenting?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

What's the point of gender reassignment surgery which doesn't change a person's chromosomes?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Should parents force their kids to go to school when they are sick?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why are there so many girls and not enough boys to follow?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What is your juiciest sex story?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

What are some good Caribbean islands to travel to with friends or family? Why?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why has my ex moved on so fast after years of being together with me?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How does gut health affect mental well-being?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

If gays can get married, why can't I marry my dog or a cheeseburger?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions